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Only Truth [23 Dec 2010|11:48am]
I'm ready to give my all, my undying love. I want to stand by my man, my match. The one whom I see myself reflecting in his soul, through a glimpse of his eyes. Fulfilled dreams, I will support him. Tiring nights, long days... miles apart. Trials and tribulations have led me here, lessons aquired for this moment in time. The possibilities of the future. Something real. No torment, only truth.

This missing link, an empty space behind his eyes. Something that's been missing for years. That something you can't quite put your finger on...

The secret resides within me. I want to unlock the passion deep within his heart. Faith restored and never capable of disenchantment.

Coinciding imperfections render two meandering souls into the union to be unbroken.

An untapped muse, immeasurable force to be reckoned with. Come with me.
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Opinions, Please? [24 Jun 2006|12:48pm]

Where should Amber move to?

Stay in Colorado

Austin, Texas

Waco, Texas

Ft.Worth, Texas

Houston, Texas

New Zealand

Des Moines, Iowa

Kansas City, Missouri

Results: Where should I move?
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If I could build the perfect man for me... [16 Jun 2006|10:04am]
[ mood | depressed ]

He would love me for who I am and wouldn't want to change a thing about me. He would love my crazy hair and my piercings and love to bite at my lip in between sweet kisses. My perfect man would love to spend time with me and when he was away would call me just to hear my voice. He would beg to just kiss my hand then grab my hand and give the most gentle kiss not caring who was there and who saw. He would tell me the most beautiful things and tell me how good I make him feel and that he loves just being in my presence. His deep, soulful eyes would leave me in a trance that I would not want to pull myself out of. Hours could have been spent just holding each other without a care in the world. His strong arms would shelter me from the world and would make me feel the safest I have ever felt. The same safety that I felt with him behind the wheel that pulled me out of an 8 year phobia.

The reassurance of his words telling me that our future would be filled with love and that I am the first love he has ever truly felt and he had never met anyone worth not cheating on until he found me. Every time we would lock ourselves in our own world, the passion that would arise would keep us both trembling from excitement and the most pure form of lovemaking. He would sit before me on the floor, face to face and hold both of my hands to tell me something. He would never just walk away without a word or a question unanswered. He would tell me time and time again how he would like to whisk me away and marry me right there on the spot.

He would call me his precious angel and be taken aback constantly telling me how he never thought he would fall for someone like me. Taking me and turning me toward the natural light and telling me how much he loves my beautiful eyes, he's never seen anything like them. Telling me that he cannot get enough of my kisses and that my body is amazing and actually screaming aloud "yes!" when I tell him I have given myself only to him, and that I belong to him forever. A man that has the same appreciation for music as I have. He would love the best of both worlds and love going to metal shows with me at the same time going to a rodeo or going to an old dusty bar for a dance. He would let me teach him how to two step. He would teach me many things and keep my interest always with his high intellect and vast knowledge of history.

This man would be able to take the worst day of my life, the day most important to me and turn it around and make it the best leaving me with the most pure of smiles. He would be honest with me at all costs and know that I would never dream of judging him. He would know that he would be first man that I was 100% completely honest with for the first time in my life, never holding anything back. He would be there for me by my side while I was doubled over in pain from losing his child that was created out of our love. My man would spend all morning racing around to get things done so that he could spend the entire day with me and my son. Playing with my son and not being afraid to be goofy and playful.

He would love taking Jager shots with me and always go get me another cold beer without me even having to ask. He would share a Jolly Rancher sucker with me while we threw beers back all night. Even play some pool with me now that I am growing as a player. He would also give me the most beautiful looks across the poker table when I would like to watch him play. This man would also love to get down and dirty for the naughty man that he is. While showing his respectful, gentlemen side to the world, he would put all inhibitions aside when he made love to me. He would let me hurt him in the nicest way possible liking it as rough and crazy as I do. I would leave my man in bliss while he was even begging for more. He would always come back for more.

I could make him feel better on his sickest days risking the fact that I would catch his illness as well. He would leave with a smile. When the two of us would be in a room together the rest of the world would go away. Every small little touch or lost moment captured couldn't come close to what we could ever imagine our wildest dreams would reveal. When post-coital he would rest upon me, forehead to forehead and we would speak of dreams and how we longed to be together forever and be free. He would let me cry to him out of love and the true desire I have for him that let me show such raw emotions. He would smile at my soul and plead with me that he loved when I was like this with him, never to stop.

So many more things to my perfect man, this being just a glimpse of how things could be/were. Maybe this is a dream I speak of. A dream that came true, a dream that ended and transformed into the worst nightmare of all. A dream I never wish to wake from, regardless.

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Could it get any worse? [17 May 2006|04:02pm]
[ mood | Fucking Sick! ]

I think I'm going to throw up everywhere....

Why do the cards have to fall this way, and why did I get cheated out of my hand? Don't I deserve something good every once in awhile too? My intentions were of the utmost pure and heartfelt intentions. Really.

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1 Year [03 May 2006|03:21pm]
I miss you.
An angel to watch over us

Pictures of You
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Within Me a Memory [07 Feb 2006|11:24am]
Monster approaches me
Throws my body to the wall.
My knees are weak, but too weak to fall.
Holding my breath, trembling... I wait for the blow.
I never knew what it meant to be so low.

Demons eyes penetrate me, deep within my soul.
The screaming never ceases, now he's on a roll.
Tears me down, makes me want to die.
Never anywhere to run, no where to hide.

Shoves me out of the door.
I didn't know he would come back for more.
Attacked with a brutal force.
The light was off in his mind, no remorse.
Now I feel this pain in my chest.
This one's different, not like the rest.

Free from breath, no more wind.
I slowly start to feel myself descend.
My body's tough, I can take the pain.
The hatred in his eyes is what drives me insane.

Bruises will fade, within me a memory.
Lasting a lifetime with a broken spirit.
I have to attempt to survive.
For one day it's me I have to revive.

Within me a memory
A broken spirit.
2 comments|post comment

[15 Jan 2006|05:55pm]
[ mood | nerdy ]

Awe, I need a Gene pick me up... *sigh*
I just might drunk dial you tonight, hee hee :)

5 comments|post comment

HBD [14 Jan 2006|08:18pm]
A very Happy Birthday to huxleysghost
Hope you had a wonderful day with your special lady :)
1 comment|post comment

[30 Dec 2005|10:11am]
[ mood | happy ]

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

For those whom always ask for a "real" smiling photo...

8 comments|post comment

haha! [29 Dec 2005|09:16am]
[ mood | confused ]

Anyone else here in Co think it's strange that this storm just blew in? What happened to no snow for awhile?
I didnt think it was even cold enough to snow...it's melting as soon as it touches anything. Weird...kinda eerie.

I just checked the temp and it is 54 degrees, haha...wtf?

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Trying to make my way home... [23 Dec 2005|10:11am]
[ mood | determined ]

I'm selling baby gear and formula to raise the money to make my way back home. If you know anyone who might be interested, please let me know! It's going to a very good cause, I'm just about getting desperate.

I'm selling Similac Alimentum Advance 18 cans for $300 and I will pay for shipping. It's retailed for $450 for that many cans.
I also have a bassinet, an excersaucer, a diaper genie, a papoose, a newborn/infant car seat, a boppy, a 4 in one bathtub, a bottle warmer and various toys. All top of the line stuff. If you know me, then you know how perfect I keep everything and most of this stuff is gently used and in its original box. I'm a weirdo like that. Of course my home is smoke and pet free, so this stuff is pretty much new.

Let me know if anyone is interested, it would be very helpful and greatly appreciated. Just trying to raise money to get me and my son back to Texas safely. Thanks!

9 comments|post comment

Stress and wonder... [13 Dec 2005|09:05am]
[ mood | bouncy ]

So whats the next step when you know you are sitting on three artists, who NEED to be signed? I am going to continue to do what I can, but it seems like it is not happening fast enough. I have so much to do, that I WANT to do, but I am only one person. Thing is, I know so many musicians who all have something so great to offer. These three that I speak of need to be signed now. I wish I could get my hands on some extra cash to get these guys really going. I have thought about putting together my own label, but no cash flow wouldn't get these guys very far at all. They are ready for professional, reputable record labels. One of these guys home recordings sounds like he spent time in a good studio. Blows me away. Viral music marketing has only gotten me so far and still I have some distance to go. I really need to get on the ball with this to make sure these guys are heard, it is a must! It's a little hard when these guys reside in Texas and I am in Colorado too, I would like to be able to do promo photography for them and build them all personal websites to further the marketing. It sure would help a hell of a lot more. MySpace accounts get the music out there, but it only can go so far. One of the bands I speak of has a website, so that is good. Just need more time to promote it! So that is what I have been surrounding myself with lately, these musicians and their music, flyers, shows, promotion all around. So much I still want to do...I will pull it off somehow.

10 comments|post comment

[09 Dec 2005|01:23pm]
[ mood | calm ]

Made this today.
Check it out. Some of the most beautiful acoustic music I've ever heard...

Image hosted by Photobucket.com

Drop by, I created and moderate this account. Let me know what you think of the music :)

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Year in Review [08 Dec 2005|05:14pm]
[ mood | disappointed ]

Year In Review
Go to your Calendar and find the first entry for each month of 2005 (not including memes of course). Post the first line of it in your journal, and that's your "Year In Review."

jan: This is what I did on New Years *photo of tattoos*
feb: *Lost internet, became homeless. So no posts for the following months*
may: I haven't spoken to you in a month or so. With loss of communication to the world, I have been thinking of things I wanted to talk to you about, just things I wanted to say. Today I found out that you left this world. *Good friend died of Cancer*
jun: I don't know whats up with teenage girls these days. They seem to be obsessed with pointing the finger at people calling them fake. *haha, rant*
jul: I hope you have a great day! *bday shout out to Shawna*
aug: Heart broken by a friend. He led me to believe something that wasn't true. Worried me, made me cry.
sep: I'm sitting there yesterday having a conversation with Gene, pouring out my thoughts and aspirations to him and I didn't even know it was his birthday!
oct: Today is okay and I can deal with that.
nov: Caden was getting down on some "Jesus Built my Hotrod" Was very cute.
dec: I'm sure most of you have seen this already, but I couldn't help but post it. *video follows*

I didn't really realize how crappy my year was. It has been long and very tiring. I have been to hell and back. Come to think of it the past 5 years have been really tough. Thank goodness for new beginnings and wonderful things to come.

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A Christmas wish... please read [05 Dec 2005|09:59am]
Grabbed from d0se
Step One
Make a post (public, friends only, filtered...whatever you're comfortable with) to your LJ. The post should contain a list of 10 holiday wishes. The wishes can be anything at all, from simple and internets-related ("I'd love a such-and-such icon that's made just for me!") to medium ("I wish for _____ on DVD!") to really big ("All I want for Christmas is a new car/computer/house/TV!") The important thing is, make sure these wishes are things you really, truly want.

If you wish for real life things (not icons or whatnot), make sure you include some sort of contact info in your post, whether it's your address or just your email address where a "holiday elf" could get in touch with you.

Also, make sure you post some version of these guidelines in your LJ, or link to this post so that the holiday joy will spread

Step Two
Surf around your friends list (or friends-friends, or just random journals) to see who has posted their list. And now here's the important part:

If you see a wish you can grant, and it's in your heart to do so, make someone's wish come true! Sometimes someone's trash is another's treasure, and if you have a leather jacket you don't want or a gift certificate you won't use--or even know where you could get someone's dream purebred Basset Hound for free--do it.

You needn't spend money on these wishes unless you want to. The point isn't to put people out, it's to provide everyone a chance to be someone else's holiday fairy--to spread the joy. Gifts can be made anonymously or not--it's your call.

There are no rules with this project, no guarantees, and no strings attached. Just...wish, and it might come true. Give, and you might receive. And you'll have the joy of knowing you made someone's holiday special.

My WishesCollapse )
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HBD [05 Dec 2005|09:39am]
A very Happy Birthday to d0se
I hope the snow melts and all of your wishes come true, you deserve it :)
I hope you have a wonderful day!
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If the house is a rockin.... [02 Dec 2005|09:04am]
I'm sure most of you have seen this already, but I couldn't help but post it. The quality of this particular video isnt that great, but you get the idea. Turn your speakers on and Merry Christmas :)
House Video
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[01 Dec 2005|10:22am]
Stolen from krysteria

1. My username is vamprissamber because it's been my handle for many years. Someone in college used to call me that and it just stuck, I like it.
2. My journal is titled "Until I am no more" because it is the most beautiful proclamation I have ever heard in my life. Those words are golden to me. It is also my MySpace quote.
3. My subtitle is "a love like no other" because it is the absolute truth.
4. My friends page is called "Minions" only because I am a silly duck. That is all.
5. My default userpic is currently a sepia photo of myself that I took at the park one day. I just dig the quality of the photo, it is also my user pic on MySpace as well. I just like to have continuity.
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Haha...could be true. [30 Nov 2005|08:39am]
Paranoid Personality Disorder:High
Schizoid Personality Disorder:Low
Schizotypal Personality Disorder:High
Antisocial Personality Disorder:Low
Borderline Personality Disorder:Moderate
Histrionic Personality Disorder:High
Narcissistic Personality Disorder:Low
Avoidant Personality Disorder:Moderate
Dependent Personality Disorder:High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder:High

-- Take the Personality Disorder Test --
-- Personality Disorder Info --

2 comments|post comment

[29 Nov 2005|09:51am]
[ mood | cold ]

20 PeopleCollapse )

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